" why should I care now, I mean its always been this way ."

" I dont know. this time around, its feels like a big gigantic truck crashed me from behind "

" they say you dont care, so be it, its not as though they do, I mean, well if they do,so be it. they dont care whether you do or not, what takes place is their opinion "

" why couldnt I do better, I mean, Im obviously better,I mean, screw it goddammit "

" well, maybe because they dont bother about you, as in dont boetehr dont bother, do whatever you like, you're not gon make it big kinda dont bother. they put high hopes on him.let it go yo. no use crying, that wouldnt change the fact"

and there I was, talking to myself like a stupid fool.

you know, people show up on tv uninvitedly, they typed on papers, they preach, they work in offices, they pick up litters. for once in my life, I wonder, are they happy with what they are doing ? are they happy with their lives ?

Yea sure, everyone says, its okay to make mistakes, you could learn from it. what if I never learn, and all I do is running away from the problem and would never pick up where I let off ? and there I am, going around, typing on my blog, smsing everyone saying I never could get anything right, Im useless, asking for pity or perhaps self-pity sometimes. I blamed God for creating me this way and not another when He created me just the same way as how He created everyone just slightly different, but hey, thats the idea aint it, to make one different from another, even twin is.

I never learn from my mistakes. I never get anything right because Im repeating the same old mistake that I never want to learn because I thought, hey ,I just have to go through this and thats it baby, Im done and life goes on like how it always goes. and everyone would go like ' no pita, you're not useless' or maybe, ' no pita, I love you'. and all I want is that phrases come out from their mouth, all I want is them being nice to me. but thats just merely them being a solace. I mean, I wouldnt say, ' hey you're dying, let it go' to someone who's dying.

I just have to go through this one, again. But differently, I need to learn from it and never make the same mistake ever again. I go around and console people saying there's no use regretting or tearing, that wouldnt solve anything. but seriously, it makes you feel hell lot better.

you know, some people, they have no life, so I'd give them something to bitch about, something to do every morning after they open their eyes. like ' hey, shes disgusting blah blah.. . call me nice. =]

I desperately want to fall flat on my face and bang some sense into my goddamn head.

life is wonderful
for those who own power
one who speaks the least is the one with greater power
I dont want to talk.

tell me what is important in your life now ?


Im telling you whats important in my life . being loved and to love ( this is not just about my baby, its about family and friends too) , and hardly nothing else. as dionne typed, we're all gon die sooner or later.

One reason why Im blogging right now. Im bored. real bored Im telling you.

my maid is watching some trashy drama on suria. I seriously dont know why the hell she never feel bored watching tv. Im sick of it already. except there're some nice movies written on the magazine,I wont click the remote. anyway, watched channel 5 yesterday night? yea singapore idol. booooohhhh - rinnnggggg lah. what is it without paul in it.

Rifky is sleeping. Good thing, if not he'd hog this computer, playing the stupid 'monster kill' game, and not gon move his ass unless there's really something important, like,when there's fire ? yeah. Online games got boys going stupid. no offence though. How could you ever set your un-bathed ass on this chair till the very next day, without eating or bathing, well, strike eating cause there will always be food in front of him, and then you do the same old shit the next day. Its like a circle thing goin on. dont you feel. stuffy ? well, whatever.

Dionne is probably watching F.r.i.e.n.d.s anyway, worked with her yesterday. and we quit on our first day. goon and laugh your ass. The job sucks big time. However you still feel okay when people shoo you off and all that. Its freakingly depressing.

Tono. probably sleeping inside his stuffed-with-cotton wooden-house. He would never come out from there unless I drag him. wth?

My bro.probably at school. you guys know what's up with him aint it. yea. He's just so cool luh.

oh fuck Im so bored.

oh fuck. This is so awesome Im telling you.
Im just so proud of my bro. His poem will be published. HIS. this is just totally fucking great luh. take a peak of his blog.
& I bet my mum will be so proud, too.

okay.Im off.

first thing first
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIONNE . sweet 16 eh. =]

noone knows whats going on in my life, how am I doing and whatsoever shit. I did blame all of those knuckleheads for not caring and all shits. but fuck, come to think of it, the problem lies on me. No one will know nothing if I never bother to tell them. so, my bad.

words that're spoken shattered my dreams. I wonder what shit I could get right.